Meet Amy. When deciding what topic I wanted to focus on and shed light on, there was no other topic that fitted her more than self love. With being friends with someone for years, you are able to see a person evolve into the person they are today. Amy has been someone that has been open about her struggles with self love and owning who she is and was full-heartedly in her teens and early twenties. Her struggles, I think, are what pushes her to uplift those around her. While she probably doesn’t realize she does this, if you were to talk about negative things about yourself around her, she will listen to the words you say but will point out your strengths. Here’s what she has to say on self love, her journey, and lessons learned.
Tell the readers a little bit about yourself: I’m a 26 year old millennial currently living in south-metro Minnesota. I am a senior liaison with a health insurance company and spend a lot of my workday training and developing others. When I’m not at work you can find me at yoga class, playing volleyball, reading a good book, or drinking TONS of coffee or wine (depending on the hour of the day). I also run a blog called I Did It For The Coffee, where I write about life, my favorite things, recipes I’ve tried, and everything in between!
What is something you are proud of?
To this day, I am still extremely proud of the fact that I obtained my Bachelor’s degree. As a first generation student, I went into college having no idea what to expect. There were definitely some twists and turns along the way that made me question if I would actually end up graduating or not. Even though the student loan debt is no joke, I have my degree to thank for my career success thus-far.
What is the biggest lesson that you have learned this year?
2020 has really shown me that you can’t take care of other people unless you take care of yourself first. I am extremely empathic and a “fixer” so I tend to take other people’s problems on as my own. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried pouring from an empty cup, but when you do you end up physically and emotionally exhausted. Especially in the mist of a pandemic, I’ve had to learn to fill my own cup first before I even think about taking on someone else’s burden.
What’s the best advice that you have ever received?
Funny enough, the best advice I’ve ever received was from my therapist. She told me that no matter what I do, not everyone will always agree with the decisions I make, so I might as well do what’s going to make me the most happy.
Who/ what is your biggest motivator?
Is “Future Amy” an appropriate answer? In all honesty, I think a lot of my motivation in life comes from my goals / where I want to see myself in the future. I know I desire to be successful in my career, have a beautiful family that is well taken care of, and be able to afford the things I want in life. Knowing this, I’m motivated to work my butt off while I’m young and able to bring me closer to my goals.
Who is someone you look up to?
This is probably cliche, but I really look up to my mom. She’s basically been Superwoman since I was a kid and has ALWAYS made sure I have everything I need, even now.
What does self love me to you?
To me self love means meeting and accepting yourself where you are, even if you’re not where you want to be. It took me a long time to realize that no one is perfect. We all have insecurities and things we would like to change about ourselves. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, why on earth are you saying it to yourself?!
Tell us about your self-love journey.
I started off really struggling with self-love in my teens and early twenties. I looked for love and validation in all the wrong places and through all the wrong people. If someone rejected me or didn’t like me it felt like my world was falling apart. My self-esteem was almost non-existent and I let others take advantage of me if it meant that I would get even a grain of validation.
It really took me moving to a new city, going through a tough break up, and moving to a one bedroom apartment on my own fairly far away from my family and friends to break this toxic cycle I was in. One day I just realized that the only person who will ALWAYS be there for me through thick and thin is myself. So why I am wasting my time looking for validation from other people? The key to happiness was in my own pocket.
After this mindset shift, I started investing my time in the things and the people I enjoyed and attempted to stop caring what other people thought about it. I’m not going to lie, not caring is still a challenge I struggle with to this day. Self-love is a constant “work in progress” for me.
What’s your advice to younger women who are struggling with self love?
Amy shared something her Mom has said to her during a few phone calls crying: “Don’t worry, it may feel like a big deal now, but when you get older you care way less about what other people think of you.”
She emphasises the importance of surrounding yourself with like minded people. “Your support system is huge!” I think this is something we learn as we grow older
Do you have a go-to song, quote, book, etc when you are not feeling yourself?
“Sometimes, the only way out is through.” – Robert Frost. I LOVE this quote because it reminds me that every journey has twists and turns. I may not always be able to see where I’m heading, but I can take comfort in the fact that my path will lead me where I’m meant to be.
Ending things on a lighter note, what is your favorite wine?
Stella Rosa Stella Gold.
Becoming comfortable and confident with who you are as a person and where you are in life, takes time and a good support group. Amy said it perfectly, who you surround yourself is important. Self love is very difficult when you are around people who do not respect, support, or uplift you whether that be family, friends, or relationship wise. I have seen a quote floating around Pinterest saying, “if you were to list all the things you loved, how long would it take you to name yourself,” and I think a lot of people would not list themselves high on that list. We need to change this. I challenge you to think 3 things you love about yourself. Now, list 3 people you know personally (man or woman) who are confident in themselves and where they are in life and spend more time with those people.
Where can I find Amy?
Instagram: diditforthecoffeeblog
wine-a-little.blog 